Let's Face It - English Is A Crazy Language!..find out!

Let's Face It - English Is A Crazy Language!

In what other language do people drive in a
parkway and park in a driveway?
Why does night fall but never break and day
break but never fall?
Why is it that when we transport something
by car, it's called a shipment, but when we
transport something by ship, it's called
cargo?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called
bikers and people who ride bikes called
cyclists?
In what other language do they call the third
hand on the clock the second hand?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only
one?
Why - in our crazy language - can your nose
run and your feet smell?
Sometimes you have to believe that all
English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane:
If olive oil is made of olives, what do they
make baby oil from?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian consume?
A writer is someone who writes, and a
stinger is something that stings.
But fingers don't fing and grocers don't
groce.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the
plural of booth be beeth?
If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true
that the preacher praught?
If harmless actions are the opposite of
harmful actions, why are shameless and
shameful behavior the same?
English is a language in which you can turn
a light on and you can turn a light off and
you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a
light in;
In which the sun comes up and goes down,
but prices go up and come down.
In which your nose can simultaneously burn
up and burn down and your car can slow
up and slow down, in which you can fill in a
form by filling out a form and in which your
alarm clock goes off by going on.
English is a crazy language. What is it that
when the sun or the moon or the stars are
out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible?; and why when I
wind up my watch, I start it, but when I
wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Author ~Killz~(m)